What's long and black The unemployment line

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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