Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Finally, lets take the fight two the streets shall we, no I am not asking, asking is for pussies: YOU VIOLATED AND KILLED MY FATHER! YES YES WHAT IS IT WITH YOU WOMEN ANYWAYS I VIOLATED YOUR MOTHER TOO, BUT YOU DON`T HEAR HER WHINING ABOUT IT! In fact tell her to stop her sending me nude shots, I prefer it when she sends me those she takes of you in your sleep... Your friendly Neighborhood R*pist Moral Man:The day Moral Man graced your village was the worst day of your life, for me it was fathers day! Literally, do you really think I killed your father? I would never comitt suicide! Now, let us celebrate our reunion with some... "Moral WINcest" Barlog: Yes we would like to see the tapes you made for me banging her mother. two Super Turbo edition hours later: YEEEEEEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEES!

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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