A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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