9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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