What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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