When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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find the o 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duh its up top

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops