What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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woman's rights

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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