how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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test

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

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WOw you have no life

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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