Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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