A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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Women's rights

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops