Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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WOw you have no life

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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batman farted so hes retarded

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops