What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

all these jokes are horrible now

Neither have I, nobody knew him.

A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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