Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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Justin Beiber

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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