How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

Poop

Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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