Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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