A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

What do you do at a club? You club.

If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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