Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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