How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops