A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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