My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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You know what's gay?? Lesbians

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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