Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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your so fat. your fat!

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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