How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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