What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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