There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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