What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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