What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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Vagina Boob

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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