What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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