a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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call me maybe.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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