Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

TOP KEK

A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...