Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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