What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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