roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Your mam is so fat.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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drew edminstin is a rat

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops