What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Democracy.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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