whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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