Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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kkkk

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Neither have I

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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