friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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