What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops