If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops