- Anti Joke

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.