Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

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Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Connor is homosexuaI

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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