what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Obama

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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