A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Connor is homosexuaI

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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