How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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