roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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