Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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alert("Hello");

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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