A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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when debbie meets downer

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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http://www.com/

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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