What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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