A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...