Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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