Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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