You were born.

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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Well this is pointless.....

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops