What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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fi uoy nac daer siht sdrawkcab uoy tsuj daer siht sdrawkcab

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why was the black guy so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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whats white and sticky glue

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops